my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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