I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
