yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
