then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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