she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
