I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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