Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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