Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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