how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
