So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize
