literally had 100 drinks last night.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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