I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Nicole vs. Life
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
