You smell like stripper and shame
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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