Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
