before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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