JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish i was in the wii world.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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