i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
