sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
