When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I supernannyed him into submission
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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