i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
