People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
