i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
