1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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