i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Randomize
