My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
