The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Randomize
