i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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