I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
