So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
