did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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