Betty ford says i'm here all night
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
