what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
