i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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