There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
