That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
