I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize