it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
