So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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