So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
It's never too late to be topless.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
sex in a hospital.. check
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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