please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
She even gives head with a lisp.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
