get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Randomize
