i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize