I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
