i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
