OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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