I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
