yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize