why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
