I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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