You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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