Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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