the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
