Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
