I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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