dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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