I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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