What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm both gender and math confused
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