I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
