So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
