Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize