I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize