You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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