This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Randomize
