Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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