I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
