We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
