I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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