dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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