This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
