so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Randomize
