I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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