Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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